Friday, June 22, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
My Journey has a new home!
A Cup of Tea With Me - please update any blog rolls, etc. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
A Cup of Tea With Me - please update any blog rolls, etc. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
Labels: A Cup of Tea With Me, My Journey
I will be around a bit today, and in the morning. Then you most likely will not see me again until the 18th or 19th, depending on what time I get home. We are going to a family reunion in NM. I cannot wait. I am also having another reunion of sorts. I am going to have lunch with two of my jr. high/high school friends, who I have not seen in years. We have been in contact through MySpace, but not regularly. It will be wonderful to see these two girls again.
Look for a BIG announcement about my blogs when I return.
See you then.
Look for a BIG announcement about my blogs when I return.
See you then.
Labels: vacation
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
This post is going to be hard for me to write. Like many things lately, I am opening my heart and life and being 100% honest with you all. Sometimes I feel vulnerable when I do this and this is one of those times. It is a tough decision whether this belongs here or Faith Filled Wives blog. It is part about my marriage, part about my children and mostly about me.
I have been very depressed lately. I gave you a glimpse into that insight when I published "The Pit". Well, here is more on that story.
I have been out of whack for a while. I quit going to church. I quit blogging. I quit talking to my friends. I just quit. The more things I quit, the more depressed I became. When I struggle, I tend to want to struggle alone. I do not want to be "Eeyore" to every one.
This past Saturday, I promised my sister I would go to church on Sunday. I got up Sunday morning, and got ready to go. The entire time, I was dreading going. I just did not want to go.
On the way there, I asked God what happened. Why was I so reluctant to go? I could come up with a million excuses not to go to church. He gave me a revelation and I have been meditating upon that for a few days. You see, I live in a house with three others, who all claim to be Christians. There is no sign of the Holy Spirit in them.
Sure my oldest goes to church every Wednesday. I have met some of the people that he goes to church with and let me tell you, I am not so sure about what goes on at church. He is going on a mission trip to Seattle next month. I am really hoping that this experience will open his eyes about his walk with the Lord.
I was there when my youngest accepted Christ as his savior. I saw the change in him. However, in a spiritually mismatched home, the presence of the Lord does not always shine as it should. He has fallen away from the bright eyed believer he once was.
My husband claims to be a Christian, but his actions, vocabulary and taste in media make me wonder. I have always wondered, but if you have followed my story this far, you know that.
It is hard to walk with the Lord always. It is even more hard to walk with Him when the people you love the most do not. I fell away from my walk with Him, to walk with my family. I will never witness to them about God's amazing love that way.
I feel so confused. You see, if I would have become a believer when my kids were young, I could have taken them to church and it would be a habit that was ingrained in them. As it is, they go when they want to, not every Sunday. Since I go by myself 90% of the time, I do not always go. I tend to spend time at home, instead, and be with my family.
God has reminded me that I have to be me, not who they want me to be, but who I am, in Christ. I cannot hide my faith. I cannot hide my faith behind my family. It does not matter if they walk with Him or not. If I hide my faith from them, then what am I doing? It makes it look like I am ashamed of my faith. I am not. It is just easier to do what they do.
No one ever said being a Christian in an non-Christian home would be easy. I am the mother though and it is time for me to set His tone for the home. It is time for me to get the kids in church on Sunday mornings. It is time for me to say my prayers in front of them. It is time for me to say "No, I will not watch that show with you."
It is time for me to be the faith filled wife, mother, sister and friend that I really am. I have struggled with this for too long. It is God's will that I am that person, and to know God's will and not do it, is a sin. Plain and simple. **The power of writing, unconfessed sin is revealed that I may confess and repent of it. Thank you, God.**
I have been very depressed lately. I gave you a glimpse into that insight when I published "The Pit". Well, here is more on that story.
I have been out of whack for a while. I quit going to church. I quit blogging. I quit talking to my friends. I just quit. The more things I quit, the more depressed I became. When I struggle, I tend to want to struggle alone. I do not want to be "Eeyore" to every one.
This past Saturday, I promised my sister I would go to church on Sunday. I got up Sunday morning, and got ready to go. The entire time, I was dreading going. I just did not want to go.
On the way there, I asked God what happened. Why was I so reluctant to go? I could come up with a million excuses not to go to church. He gave me a revelation and I have been meditating upon that for a few days. You see, I live in a house with three others, who all claim to be Christians. There is no sign of the Holy Spirit in them.
Sure my oldest goes to church every Wednesday. I have met some of the people that he goes to church with and let me tell you, I am not so sure about what goes on at church. He is going on a mission trip to Seattle next month. I am really hoping that this experience will open his eyes about his walk with the Lord.
I was there when my youngest accepted Christ as his savior. I saw the change in him. However, in a spiritually mismatched home, the presence of the Lord does not always shine as it should. He has fallen away from the bright eyed believer he once was.
My husband claims to be a Christian, but his actions, vocabulary and taste in media make me wonder. I have always wondered, but if you have followed my story this far, you know that.
It is hard to walk with the Lord always. It is even more hard to walk with Him when the people you love the most do not. I fell away from my walk with Him, to walk with my family. I will never witness to them about God's amazing love that way.
I feel so confused. You see, if I would have become a believer when my kids were young, I could have taken them to church and it would be a habit that was ingrained in them. As it is, they go when they want to, not every Sunday. Since I go by myself 90% of the time, I do not always go. I tend to spend time at home, instead, and be with my family.
God has reminded me that I have to be me, not who they want me to be, but who I am, in Christ. I cannot hide my faith. I cannot hide my faith behind my family. It does not matter if they walk with Him or not. If I hide my faith from them, then what am I doing? It makes it look like I am ashamed of my faith. I am not. It is just easier to do what they do.
No one ever said being a Christian in an non-Christian home would be easy. I am the mother though and it is time for me to set His tone for the home. It is time for me to get the kids in church on Sunday mornings. It is time for me to say my prayers in front of them. It is time for me to say "No, I will not watch that show with you."
It is time for me to be the faith filled wife, mother, sister and friend that I really am. I have struggled with this for too long. It is God's will that I am that person, and to know God's will and not do it, is a sin. Plain and simple. **The power of writing, unconfessed sin is revealed that I may confess and repent of it. Thank you, God.**
Labels: Christian, depression, God's will, Sin, spiritual mismatch
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
In my The Everyday Life Bible Joyce Meyer added a side note for Psalm 40:2. It is called a Life Point, and here is what Joyce has to say:
Psalm 40:2 (AMP) He drew me up out of a horrible pit [a pit of tumult and of destruction], out of the miry clay (froth and slime), and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings.
When the Bible speaks of "the pit," as it does in Psalm 40, I always think of the depths of depression. The psalmist David often spoke of feeling as though he was going down into a pit and calling out to the Lord to rescue him and set his feet on solid, level ground.
Like David, nobody wants to be in the pit of depression. It is a terrible place. I cannot think of a worse place to be. When we are deeply depressed, we feel bad enough as it is. Then the devil comes along to add to our misery by bringing thought of every negative thing imaginable. He reminds us of every disappointing thing that has ever happened to us and tries to make us believe that nothing good will ever take place in our lives. His goal is to keep us so miserable and hopeless that we will never rise up to cause him any problems or to fulfill the call of God on our lives.
We must learn to resist descending into the pit of depression where we are at the mercy of the tormentor of our souls, who is determined to totally destroy us and our witness for Christ. Be like David; cry out to God and allow Him to set your feet upon a rock and bring stability to your life.
-----------------------------------
Ok, I know that not everything that Joyce Meyer writes is good and that some of her stuff you really need to pray about before you follow her teachings. I have to tell you though, this Life Point really hit home for me. I have been in the pit of depression for far too long. I have let the enemy keep me from where I should be and what I should be doing, because I have felt unworthy. NO ONE is really worthy of God's grace and love. However, He has called us anyway. We need to lean on Him and do the work that He has called us to. Melissa, it is time to wake up, smell the roses and get to where God wants you. Stop making excuses. God does not want your excuses, He wants you to obey what He has called you to do. Lean on Him. Let Him lift you out of your "pit" and follow where He leads.
Psalm 40:2 (AMP) He drew me up out of a horrible pit [a pit of tumult and of destruction], out of the miry clay (froth and slime), and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings.
When the Bible speaks of "the pit," as it does in Psalm 40, I always think of the depths of depression. The psalmist David often spoke of feeling as though he was going down into a pit and calling out to the Lord to rescue him and set his feet on solid, level ground.
Like David, nobody wants to be in the pit of depression. It is a terrible place. I cannot think of a worse place to be. When we are deeply depressed, we feel bad enough as it is. Then the devil comes along to add to our misery by bringing thought of every negative thing imaginable. He reminds us of every disappointing thing that has ever happened to us and tries to make us believe that nothing good will ever take place in our lives. His goal is to keep us so miserable and hopeless that we will never rise up to cause him any problems or to fulfill the call of God on our lives.
We must learn to resist descending into the pit of depression where we are at the mercy of the tormentor of our souls, who is determined to totally destroy us and our witness for Christ. Be like David; cry out to God and allow Him to set your feet upon a rock and bring stability to your life.
-----------------------------------
Ok, I know that not everything that Joyce Meyer writes is good and that some of her stuff you really need to pray about before you follow her teachings. I have to tell you though, this Life Point really hit home for me. I have been in the pit of depression for far too long. I have let the enemy keep me from where I should be and what I should be doing, because I have felt unworthy. NO ONE is really worthy of God's grace and love. However, He has called us anyway. We need to lean on Him and do the work that He has called us to. Melissa, it is time to wake up, smell the roses and get to where God wants you. Stop making excuses. God does not want your excuses, He wants you to obey what He has called you to do. Lean on Him. Let Him lift you out of your "pit" and follow where He leads.
Labels: depression, God, God's will, Prayer
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
My dear friends,
First off, this will be posted on all three blogs and several message boards. It is my blanket apology for my "disappearance" from the blogging world and several of the message boards that I frequent.
A few weeks back, I had a flair up with my irritable bowel. A little TMI here, it all but quit working on it's own, and I could only have a bowel movement, if I took strong laxatives. I had several tests ran and Praise the Lord! It is just what my Dr is calling a lazy bowel, which is basically a spastic colon. It is completely treatable. However, my Dr put me on Amitiza. This is a wonderful medication, if you have a lazy colon. It has done what it is supposed to do. But it has also made me irritable. It has affected my bi-polar, and made me a very angry person. I will be stopping this medication when I have finished this bottle. It is $60.00 per month and that is more than I want to pay for crankiness.
So I hid. I figured it was much easier to hide from you all than to have you all listen to my rants, my raves and my fits. I knew that some of you would see through my "Everything is fine" attitude. I did not want anyone to know that anything was wrong. I wanted to maintain the ideal that I had my bi-polar under control. Yes, I was wrong.
I was reminded that I need my friends. God does not give us anything we cannot handle. He also gives us the friends, family and support that we need to be able to handle some situations. He wants us to lean on Him, but He also gives us loved ones to lift us up in prayer and support.
I know that many of my readers and many of my friends were worried about me, and I sincerely apologize for "hiding" from you. I would like to ask that my readers and friends please accept my apology and please forgive me. I let my human nature take over and did not lean on the Lord. I know that many of you would say this post was not necessary, but others needed to know what was on my heart.
I love you all and I am thankful for each and every one of you. I have a ton of catching up to do, so I will close this post.
Sincerely,
Melissa
First off, this will be posted on all three blogs and several message boards. It is my blanket apology for my "disappearance" from the blogging world and several of the message boards that I frequent.
A few weeks back, I had a flair up with my irritable bowel. A little TMI here, it all but quit working on it's own, and I could only have a bowel movement, if I took strong laxatives. I had several tests ran and Praise the Lord! It is just what my Dr is calling a lazy bowel, which is basically a spastic colon. It is completely treatable. However, my Dr put me on Amitiza. This is a wonderful medication, if you have a lazy colon. It has done what it is supposed to do. But it has also made me irritable. It has affected my bi-polar, and made me a very angry person. I will be stopping this medication when I have finished this bottle. It is $60.00 per month and that is more than I want to pay for crankiness.
So I hid. I figured it was much easier to hide from you all than to have you all listen to my rants, my raves and my fits. I knew that some of you would see through my "Everything is fine" attitude. I did not want anyone to know that anything was wrong. I wanted to maintain the ideal that I had my bi-polar under control. Yes, I was wrong.
I was reminded that I need my friends. God does not give us anything we cannot handle. He also gives us the friends, family and support that we need to be able to handle some situations. He wants us to lean on Him, but He also gives us loved ones to lift us up in prayer and support.
I know that many of my readers and many of my friends were worried about me, and I sincerely apologize for "hiding" from you. I would like to ask that my readers and friends please accept my apology and please forgive me. I let my human nature take over and did not lean on the Lord. I know that many of you would say this post was not necessary, but others needed to know what was on my heart.
I love you all and I am thankful for each and every one of you. I have a ton of catching up to do, so I will close this post.
Sincerely,
Melissa
Labels: apology
Saturday, May 05, 2007
done something really bad?
I have recently. I went into hiding, because I was afraid I would say or do something hurtful. Yeah I know, I should have been honest and up front and told everyone what was happening and why. I did not. I am so sorry.
I went to try to apologize to someone for this. I really wanted her to know that I was so sorry. When I went to talk to her, I misspelled her name. ACK! Yes, that looked and sounded sincere. *rolling her eyes* I am such a lousy friend. I really am.
My deepest apologies to all of you out there in the blogosphere.
I have recently. I went into hiding, because I was afraid I would say or do something hurtful. Yeah I know, I should have been honest and up front and told everyone what was happening and why. I did not. I am so sorry.
I went to try to apologize to someone for this. I really wanted her to know that I was so sorry. When I went to talk to her, I misspelled her name. ACK! Yes, that looked and sounded sincere. *rolling her eyes* I am such a lousy friend. I really am.
My deepest apologies to all of you out there in the blogosphere.
